Our Brains are Incredible!
Our brains are fascinating and complex.
- Our physical actions impact how well our brain functions. And the way our brain functioning impacts how we are doing physically.
- Our brains are creative. They come up with new ideas, solve complex problems, and tell our bodies how to make things.
- Our brains help us connect with other people and form relationships.
- Our brains help us process situations where we feel scared, sad, embarrassed, angry, and happy.
Our brains are incredible. And devious.
To understand why, let’s look at the difference between fear and anxiety.
They Keep Us Safe
Fear is a response to a present danger.
For example, a car is speeding toward you. If you had time to think, you would consider the speed of the car, how far away it is, and how much time you have to move out of the way, what would be the fastest vs safest route to take, etc.
But you don’t have time to be rational. Your brain takes over and tells you to jump out of the way right NOW!
This is an example of your brain being incredible. It shuts down part of itself (the rational part) because you don’t have time to think things through. Then it kicks in the “Hey, this is scary so let’s act pronto” part to get you the heck out of the way.
Fascinating!!! This was very helpful thousands of years ago when our ancestors were wandering in the wilderness completely unaware of what could be lurking around the corner. A snake, lion, cliff, or other deadly situation. They needed the fear response to take over to keep them alive
Today we may not need that part of our brain as often, but I’m sure we’ve all got a list of times that our brain saved us from real threats.
But They Also Lie to Us
Anxiety, however, is an imagined threat in the future. Things we are afraid might happen in the future. I also call it the fear of future fear.
This includes thinking:
- My business will run out of money
- My co-founder will leave
- My board will kick me out
- My wife/husband will leave me
- I’ll end up homeless
While these things are not immediate threats, the brain can treat them like they are. It shuts down the rational part and the immediate action part kicks in.
That is why we have panic attacks, our neck/shoulders/chest get tight, our body freezes, or we can’t focus or think clearly. Even though there is no present threat, our brains act like there is one.
See how devious it can be!
Reprogramming Your Brain
The brain does this because it doesn’t have another process to deal with these thoughts. It shuts down the rational part of your brain and tells your body to be SCARED!
By equipping your brain with a process to deal with the scared thoughts, you can train it to handle the information differently and keep it from playing tricks on you.
- Start by training your brain to recognize when these feelings enter your mind. It may be when you look at your balance sheet and see a diminishing or negative profit. Or perhaps you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat thinking your co-founder is going to leave and you don’t know why.
One was triggered by hard data. The other seems to come from nowhere (it doesn’t actually, but that’s a conversation for another day).
- Once you identify the fear, it’s time to train your brain to acknowledge it and then take steps to engage the cortex or rational/thinking part of your brain.
One of the best ways to engage the thinking part of the brain is to get curious about the expectations that are associated with the fear. This includes both the ones you have given yourself, as well as those from outside sources, like your parents.
What’s Your Identity?
Your expectations are usually connected to an identity. Identity is simply how you see yourself or how you want to see yourself.
For example, you may want to be a successful entrepreneur. You have expectations of what a successful entrepreneur should look like. These might have come from an article, interview, or biography you read. Or they could be something you made up. You have built an identity based on those expectations.
Maybe you think you should be profitable within three months. When that fourth month comes around and you are still not profitable, that is when your brain is likely to flip out.
You might need to engage the rational part of your brain and come up with some creative ways to increase your cash flow.
But maybe that was an unrealistic expectation for your type of business. In that case, it’s time to reevaluate your definition of success.
Another example may be that your parents communicated, either verbally or through their actions, that a loving parent works long hours to provide for their family.
Even though you own your own business and control your schedule, you may fear that you are not being a loving parent when you take time off during the day, even if it is to spend time with your spouse and kids.
It seems crazy, but when the brain receives information that doesn’t align with what it believes to be true, it immediately defaults to believing something is wrong and enters a state of anxiety.
Tap Into Your Brain’s Superpowers
By recognizing our attachments to these identities, we can avoid being trapped by our fears and anxieties.
Instead, we can tap into clear and creative thinking about the challenges we are facing in our lives and in our businesses.
Our identities aren’t all bad. They help us know how to be a good leader, husband/wife, parent, and so on.
We just have to be careful not to become too attached to these identities. We need to be willing to evaluate to see if they are realistic. If they are not, we need to change our thinking to align better with reality.
We also need to evaluate if they are causing anxiety. If that is the case, then we need to change our thinking or consider stepping out of that role.
These steps are not always easy. When I work with entrepreneurs, we spend several weeks understanding identities and attachments so that they can begin to loosen their grip.
It is not something that is done once and forgotten about. It is a process that we, as broken individuals, will need to do throughout our lives. It is something I try to do daily.
The more you do it, the better you will get at identifying when anxiety arises and naming the identity behind it. Once you are able to do that, you are on your way to taking rational steps to respond to it.
Ready To Learn More?
Are you ready to learn more? Set up a free 30 min call to learn more about my process and how I can help you learn to manage your fear and anxiety so you can thrive in the work you love. Click the link below to get started.
The Unleashed Startup Coaching Info Call
What is Bothering You?
What is causing the most anxiety in your life right now? What identity could that be attached to?
Let me know in the comments below.
Maybe I can help. Maybe I can write a post on how to deal with it. But I can’t do that unless you let me know. So leave me a note below!